Remember the outraged protests from “gay marriage” campaigners that it was a world away from polyamory and no-one was seriously advocating that…..?
Well that must be why the BBC is running a story called “How does a polyamorous relationship between four people work?”
Charlie is talking excitedly about a first date she went on the night before.
Next to her on the sofa is her husband of six years, Tom. And on the other side of him is Sarah, who’s been in a relationship with Tom for the last five years. Sarah’s fiance, Chris, is in the kitchen making a cup of tea.
The two women are also in a full-blown relationship, while the two men are just good friends. Together, they make a polyamorous family and share a house in Sheffield.
“We’re planning to grow old together,” says Charlie.
If any of the four want to get involved with someone else, they have to run it by the others – all of whom have a veto.
“We can’t use a veto for something as silly as, say, personal taste,” says Sarah. “If you were dating somebody and I could not understand why you found them attractive, that would not be sufficient reason for me to say, no, you can’t see this person.”
What counts as infidelity, then?
“Lying,” they chorus.
Now, I don’t post this stuff up in order to make some sort of moralistic point. You’re either convinced that this is appropriate or you’re not. What I’m interested in is the dynamic it brings to the gay marriage debate. Here we have what is represented as a loving, consensual, non-abusive relationship. By every measure of argument that gay marriage has been pushed into the public debate, this polyamorous relationship gets validation. Just consider the close…
Tom is cautiously optimistic that polyamory will become “average and everyday”.
“Anyone who is expecting some massive social change overnight is terribly mistaken, but it will happen.”
In the meantime, the four of them are planning an unofficial ceremony to mark their commitment to each other.
“Sometimes people just write the relationship off as a lazy way of getting more sex than you normally would. There are easier ways,” says Tom wryly.
They all agree managing a multi-partner relationship can be exhausting.
“But we don’t have a choice. We’re in love with each other,” they chime.
Inconsistency is the sign of a failed argument. It “gay marriage” proponents don’t back this agenda then they really are just demonstrating their inconsistency – their argument of “love” fails.